“You deserve the best
because your loved ones deserve the best of you,
not what is left of you.”
– Becky Lauridsen, Founder of IOME.
We have all heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Let me ask you, is your cup empty? Is your cup full? Is your cup broken? If you are practicing self care on a regular and consistent basis, your loved ones should be getting the best of you, right?
This probably brings up a good question: what is self care?
Before we dive into what self care actually is, I think it is helpful to first identify what it is not.
Self Care versus Self Indulgence
Self-indulgence is characterized by doing or tending to do exactly what one wants, especially when this involves pleasure or idleness, or lacking control. It is the quick fix or the instant pleasure. Easy to do in the moment, but it will likely not add value to you in the long run.
Common examples of self indulgence:
•mindlessly scrolling social media
•self-medicating; eating or drinking too much
•watching hours of mindless TV
•overextending your time and energy
•staying up too late, hitting snooze in the morning
Self care is the practice of taking an active role in improving and protecting one’s own well-being and happiness. This includes doing the uncomfortable thing(s). Things that are more challenging in the moment but will add value to you in the long run.
Common examples of quality self care:
•waking up early/going to bed early
•listening to an uplifting podcast
•stretching or exercising daily
•setting healthy boundaries and saying “no”
•reading personal development books
•going on consistent date nights with your spouse
Do you see the difference?
We can teeter on the edges of the two, but ultimately, we have to determine; is it adding value or is it a quick fix?
Not to worry, there is still room for the bubble bath and glass of wine, the binge watching a great Netflix show just to check out, and/or the drinking a little too much on a Friday night to celebrate a special occasion. As long as your quality self care is outweighing and outperforming the self indulgences, you can have both!
As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I would often see the detrimental affects of too much self indulgence and not enough self care in my clients who were burnt-out, stressed, overwhelmed, and even showing signs of depression and anxiety. To prevent this from happening to you, start with reflecting on the past week. What did you spend your time on? Did you feel depleted at the end of the week? Did you feel energized? What quality self care did you do? What did you indulge in? Answer honestly and find areas that you can replace the self indulgence with quality self care and make a plan to implement it this coming week.
And remember,
“Taking care of yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.”
– Becky Lauridsen, Founder of IOME
Together we are better,
Becky
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